a life of order

I enjoyed this last year immensely. I see a lot of flaws in myself when I look at the last 12 months, but I see a lot of joy as well.

I have two toddlers. I realize this isn’t unique as many have young children, but for me this situation required a bit of "letting go" as I have been described in the past as a bit "uptight." I enjoy planning and schedules and function best with minimal chaos, so you can imagine the screaming in my head at times when the messes, tardiness and dirty faces reigned. My control levels have been all over the board this year when evaluations of my parenting skills, and life in general, have gone from relaxed and easy-going to overly structured and rigid. Go figure.

This past year my children have occasionally worn dirty clothes. I have been late to church. I have offered less than stellar meal options to both my family and others. I have had my husband digging for clean underwear because the laundry hasn’t gotten done. I could go on, but my pride is kicking in. I know that these things aren’t what makes life meaningful, but they stress me out. I don’t want to be stressed out this year.

I wrote this a long time ago and have had it hanging where I see it often:

I am my best self when my home is clean and organized, when I am ready for my day, when things are running on schedule and my children and happy and healthy.

I am most stimulated when I am engaged with friends, learning spiritually and serving in a capacity where I am making an impact on someone else.

I function at a high vibration as I am in tune with Denten, see the
positive in a situation and exercise my faith consistently.

I strive to have enough money that my family can enjoy experiences without being concerned about the cost and that we can freely bless other’s lives.

Did you notice how that started? clean, organized, ready, schedule… they are things I appreciate and things I have not had enough of lately. This year I am striving to have a home, and a life, of order.

I don’t mean to say that I won’t have fun, or be spur-of-the-moment sometimes, but I’m a better mom, wife and friend when I am on top of things rather than always trying to catch up. I will enjoy moments with my children and use the moments I’m not with them a little wiser.

So that’s it…. order.  I hope to implement more of it in several areas of my life.  My computer desk is clean.  My kitchen floor is clean.  That’s a start.

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